In an instant...

It is amazing how quickly your life can change, what a difference five minutes, a day, or a week makes. One minute Casey and I are anxiously awaiting to find out whether our baby is a boy or girl and in the next moment our world has crumbled around us.

Our baby boy died inside me.

Three weeks later and we are trying to find our new normal, taking one day at a time. Thankfully, we have wonderful friends and family who have supported, comforted, listened, loved and cooked for us. We have leaned on each other and have grown closer....I didn't think I could love Casey more, until now. Each day we are a little stronger, but there are bad days too....guilt, sadness, little things sneak in to remind us of our loss.

I am literally taking each day as it comes, no big changes or plans. Knowing my emotions and grief will come and go, I am accepting those feelings for what they are, journaling and working through them the best I can.

Fall is here. The air is chilly and the leaves are turning. It's the time of year for football, apple cider, and pumpkins. The season is changing, the world moves on and so must we. Not forgetting, but cherishing our memories, making peace with the situation and gaining strength to try again.

Alien Baby

15 WEEKS! Yay for the 2nd trimester and no more nausea!!!

At our 13 week appointment, I asked our doctor about the first sonogram. She said normally they are done at 19-20 weeks, but asked if we really want to see the baby?! OF COURSE! So, we set up an appointment for today. Still early to tell the sex of little Woods, but we got to see him/her swimming around in my belly and took home three pictures. Here are the two best.....



You can see a profile of the face and his/her little nose. Legs up in the air and arm near his/her head.



His/Her little arm by the head.

All the measurements came back good, we are right on track for Feb. 3 due date. The baby book says Baby Woods is now 4 1/2 to 5 inches long and about the size of an orange! I am not showing yet, sorry now baby bump picture. I haven't felt the baby move, but hopefully in the next few weeks!

Casey is excited to start playing music, sounds, etc for the baby. He is going to use his iPhone and download music to play to my belly. We are busy getting the house ready to sell, rent or something! We have outgrown our little two bedroom home and definitely need more room before baby comes.

We are discussing names and are excited to find out the gender at our next appointment September 11th!

Pregnant, schmregnant...11 week update!

I will be 11 weeks on the 15th of July (tomorrow). It has been a rough month complete with all day nausea, exhaustion, swollen feet, gas, constipation, and food aversions....which to a true foodie, has been the worst!

I know all these first trimester, crazy changes will be worth it in the end. But, right now this pregnancy stuff is for the birds! Why, why would women put themselves through all this more than once!!!

I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, a cloud is lifting and I think (cross your fingers), the nausea is subsiding! Yay! Or, I have just learned to deal with it by eating and snacking throughout the day. What sounds good one day, doesn't the next...I hate grocery shopping even more now. No cravings yet, and chocolate isn't appetizing anymore. Instead fruit, especially watermelon, has tasted the best.

We made our big announcement and everyone is very excited. Our parents couldn't wait to tell everyone our good news! I have continued to read my "What to Expect" book and everything is right on track. Our second doctor's appointment was on the 5th of July and we got to hear the heartbeat. Casey came along, he got to ask all his questions, and even recorded the heart beat on his phone. He has been a very attentive and helpful father-to-be!

My adventure of the week was bra shopping today at JCPenney! My current under wire bra is not cutting it!  Another wonderful body change....bigger boobs...and they hurt by the end of the day. So, off I went to the mall to see what I could find to help. A very nice sales associate ask to help fit me...one hour and a zillion bras later, we found one that fit and was comfortable! I learned that I was not the size I thought I was (despite my baby on board), same sizes by different companies still fit different, and after that I still had to order one in the color I wanted! I am sure I will be back for a bigger one sooner than later, but for now, it will work!

No April Fool's here....

Baby Woods will arrive February 3, 2013

Casey and I found out we were pregnant the last week of May through a home pregnancy test! We are excited but like many first time parents-to-be...nervous!
Our first doctor's appointment was Monday, June 4th, where I met my Ob doc, they confirmed my due date, did lab work, talked insurance, and gave me a goody bag. 
I ordered a couple books, the ever popular mom-to-be bible...What to Expect When You Are Expecting and a fun baby name book. I started in on what to expect last night and already have found it very helpful!
I have been feeling okay...not the best but not horribly sick either. I have noticed body, appetite, and sleep changes already. It is amazing how something so small (size of orange seed, I read) can change your body and life so much! Let the adventure begin!

Road Trip and Soul Sisters

In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, I ventured to Lawrence and Topeka on a Saturday the beginning of May!

Really, I had plans to see friends in Topeka and I had wanted to go to the most awesome fabric store in Lawrence. Below are a couple pictures of the inside of Sarah's on Mass St....see all that fabric....it is fabulous!!!

What better reason to take a ROAD TRIP!! I got out my Dixie Chicks CD's, filled up with gas, bought snacks, and set off for Lawrence before noon on Saturday.

This was one of those days where I didn't mind driving and didn't care how far and didn't need anyone else with me. Turned up the AC, turned up the Dixie Chicks and sang out loud the entire drive to Lawrence!

Listening to the Chicks reminded me of college, and I started reflecting on experiences and friendships. With each song, I was transported back to a time and place, remembering my girls, smiling and singing along.



All 8 of us together at Janel's Wedding, May 2010



Our friendships begin as children, and grew through high school and college. We became wives and mothers, our roles changing, our lives changing, but always making time for each other. The girls fill my soul, re-charge my batteries and make me laugh. There is an enduring history, an easy silence, and an unmistakable bond. We love each other like sisters and cherish the time we spend together!





Winery Trip in June 2007



Although not nearly enough, we try to get together monthly or every couple months to catch up, have some well deserved girl time, and usually talk all things crafting, husbands, relationships, and kids...the good, the bad and usually the funny!!



Tonya's Wedding in 2006

 

We joke about buying a "compound" and all of us living as one big happy family...with husbands, kids and pets leading a self sustaining life together! Our husbands probably wouldn't go for the "compound" idea BUT I know our friendships will survive anything and we will be road tripping, laughing and crafting until we are old and gray!

My wedding in 2007



I LOVE YOU GIRLS! NOW AND FOREVER!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING MY SOUL SISTERS!!! 

Biking bug....

Maybe I am crazy, or just a glutton for punishment....last week I joined my first Thursday night group ride!?!

For almost two years, there has been a group of biking enthusiasts riding every Thursday night...the love of biking and participation has greatly increased the past year.

Last year I told myself I wasn't ready for a long, gravel bike ride, even though I completed a hellacious 20 mile ride last May with Casey. I still didn't see myself doing THAT again!!

But this year, the biking bug hit and I signed up for the Dirty Kanza lite ride (20 miles)!! Over the winter, I rode in the gym and with the warmer weather, I have ventured outside, but only about 5-6 miles each time. I knew I needed to go on longer rides and this year I wanted to try a Thursday night group ride. The weekly rides started back in mid March and between my knees, back, birthday's and rain....this was my first!!

There were 40 some bikers last week (including Casey, he made it out of work in time to come along) and about 7pm we took off! We rode northwest of town and very shortly hit gravel and hills! Now, I am an in town, pavement biker, so it took me a little bit getting use to the gravel and using different gears than normal.


I was last in the pack and grateful for several experienced riders who stayed back to encourage me along. No riders left behind! The sunset was beautiful and NO SNAKES!!! 2 1/2 hours, 21 miles and too many hills later, we made it home!! I was so proud of myself for making it so far and tackling all the hills! Our friend, Rick Becker, says that hills build character!

I don't know how the Dirty Kanza riders manage 200 miles on the gravel Flinthills roads in the Kansas summer heat, but I know, I have NO desire to do anything near that many miles, ever! I am in awe of them and will be cheering on many of our friends as they ride in the DK this year!!

Lilybug

My niece, Lily, turned 6 on April 17th! I can not believe how tall she is getting nor that her Kindergarten year is almost over! She is a joy! I love her to pieces!! She constantly amazes me with her humor and she is learning so much in school.
Here are a few pictures from her 6th birthday party on Sunday, April 15th.


Birthday Girl with her new big girl Bike!



Lily with her Justin Bieber cake! Guess who her favorite singer is?!?



Also in April was her first music program at school! Both Kindergarten classes sang together...they were so cute! Remember this one.....it makes me smile every time I watch it! That's me giggling in the background!

Last Sunday, she came over for a play date. She loves our dogs and now that she is older and bigger than both Harry and Lucy, she loves to play with them. We planned to go swimming, but with the uncertain stormy sky, we changed our plans. Lily and I went to the zoo, got Dairy Queen ice cream, colored, and played with the dogs outside!
Here are a few zoo pictures....I was just as excited to tour the zoo as she was!

Lily the Lemur



Cooling off at the water fountain!

 

Playing at the new educational kids area!

 

Comparing her "wing span" to a vulture. Her's is equal to a Red Hawk!

 

Checking on the turtles sunning on the rocks!